I believe people are responsible for shaping their own reality.
No, we probably can’t change weather patterns and chase away tornados just by will (or can we?) It’s more about how we react to people and situations: do we feel happy/unhappy and are we at peace?
So, what I’m saying is this:
Too many toxic people around you?
Look in the mirror and ask yourself why. Why do you think they’re toxic? Are they really? Why do you attract them in such numbers?
Feeling unlucky, often?
Look at your mindset. Why do you even think that? Is it a matter of seeing the glass as half empty? What beliefs about yourself and the world stop you from being happy and at peace with yourself?
Overwhelmed with various fears?
Fear of the future, fear of illness, fear of failure, you name it. Well, perhaps, it’s time to stop being afraid of everything and everyone around, look at those fears up close and let them go.
Life is too hard on you?
Stop for a moment and take stock of what’s happening and why. And how you can reshape that just by reshaping your priorities, thoughts and attitudes. Well, you get the idea.
I have to say this view is very unpopular with many people.
And it’s not like people are actively debating it. They simply ignore it, shrug it off, get quietly annoyed, roll their eyes, turn around and walk away.
The web is full of advice how to identify and avoid toxic people, how to control emotions, how to guide others into making the right (for you) decisions, and so on. It’s all about controlling the people and circumstances in life.
Let me put this very clear: I’m not justifying all the toxic people out there. I’m not blaming victims. I’m not saying that people’s sufferings aren’t real. Of course they're real.
What I'm saying is that we can’t control other people. We can't stop life from happening. We can't stop change.
But we can reshape our mindset and attitude so that other people and negative circumstances don’t have control over how we feel. Once that mind shift happens, your reality has shifted.
Have you ever observed how two people react completely differently in the same situation? If asked, they’ll give you two completely different stories about the same situation. Why? Of course, because these people have different backgrounds, temperaments, education, jobs, etc. Yet, all these things affect how we perceive things. So people react differently because their perceptions of the same situation are vastly different. But perceptions can be changed.
So, instead of trying to change the situation - which mostly means changing other people - wouldn't it be wiser to change our perception of this situation? And then consciously decide how we want to feel and react?
I’m a firm believer that by reshaping my own mindset (eg beliefs, values, attitudes, emotions - and therefore actions) I can shape the reality I want. Well, within certain parameters; we're still on planet Earth. Not that the shift will happen quickly, albeit sometimes it actually happens rather quickly. But that's quite rewarding, isn't it?