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Two types of toxic people

There’re so many toxic behaviours. But in my view there’re two main types of toxic behaviour.

The Immature Toxic Type

The Immature Toxic person is just that - immature and doesn’t have the skills to listen and care. Sometimes it’s enough to tell them and show them how their behaviour affects others. They may be even willing to change.

Often the Immature Toxic person is willing to listen and change. All they need is someone's patience, guidance and support.

Sometimes the Immature Toxic person isn't so willing to change. Yet, a strong enough push in the right direction - and which usually comes in as a life blow or very negative unpleasant feedback or a loss of a loved one - is enough to make them think about their toxic behaviour. And they become willing to change.

The Truly Toxic Type

The Truly Toxic person is well aware of their behaviour and the consequences for other people. Yet the Truly Toxic person intentionally chooses to behave that way and is very intentional. They know very well that others are affected but they won’t change their behaviour because they believe they can get away with anything.

Yet, sooner or later the Truly Toxic person faces circumstances or other people that make their life difficult. In fact, this is an opportunity for the Truly Toxic person to assess their behaviour and start changing. Because things are only going to become worse.

The trouble is that the Truly Toxic person doesn’t always make the connection between their toxic behaviour and other people's negative attitudes towards them. The Truly Toxic person's ego is so strong that the person develops a totally distorted picture of the world where the Truly Toxic person is always right and others are always wrong.

As time goes and the Truly Toxic person becomes solidified in their toxic behaviour, they become more and more inflexible and more and more grumpy at life and everyone around them. Such a shame. Yet, it's their choice.

How would a wise person react to the two toxic types?

A wise person:

  • can tell the Immature Toxic type from the Truly Toxic type

  • has inner peace, self-confidence and a wider perspective on life which helps the wise person to stay largely unaffected by the toxic behaviour

  • can choose the type of behaviour around toxic people that is appropriate in the situation, is safe for the wise person and doesn’t hurt other people

  • can confront the toxic behaviour but doesn’t get fanatical about changing it. The wise person knows that it’s not their responsibility to change the toxic people (or anyone else for that matter).

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