To pretend or not pretend?



We feel better


We feel better about ourselves and life in general. It’s just a lighter feeling of ourselves. Perhaps because pretending requires a lot of energy. When we stop pretending we have all this energy back.


Our health may improve or at least not become worse. Not worrying about whether other people believed us this time.


We feel greater self-confidence


We notice that other people accept our new true self even if we thought they never would. The secret here is that other people generally don’t care and happily accept whatever we decide to expose about our personality.


We attract more genuine and like minded people


People who are genuinely trying to be authentic aren’t interested in fake people. They just don’t click together, that’s a fact.


More importantly, we start attracting like minded people because they can finally see us for who we really are.


We find it easier to realise our dreams and goals


Firstly because we start discovering ourselves and therefore it becomes easier to find out what our true dreams and goals are.


Secondly because the like minded people we now attract are more likely to genuinely help us achieve our goals.



Some observations:


It’ll take time to discover who we really are


We can’t make one big leap from being a total pretender to being an absolutely authentic person. One step at a time.


Also, it's a process that requires constant attention and effort, at least in the beginning. We can become so ingrained in our desire to fake ourselves, that can hardly see when we're actually fake.


Some people will never accept our new true self


Usually these will be people from our closest circle who are used to seeing us fake and aren't prepared to see any changes.


If these people want to see me fake, this means they shouldn’t be in my close circle. Alas.


We may hear unpleasant truths about ourselves


This is part of the journey. The genuine people we now attract will always show us (directly or indirectly) if we’re trying to fake ourselves again.


I remind myself that these people are trying to help me achieve my goal and my goal is to stop pretending. I'm trying to be grateful.