Ever met with the outgoing vocal bright person who's going at great lengths to impress others? Or the quiet smart person for that matter who's trying to do the same - but in more subtle ways?
There's nothing wrong with trying to impress others, but only for short period of time. For example, when we're falling in love we obviously try to impress the significant other. Well, no surprises, our hormones are working against our brain at this time anyway.
So why isn't not healthy to try and impress others all the time, every day of your life?
There’re too many people to impress
They’re all very different, with different values, priorities and expectations. Who exactly should I be trying to impress? How do I choose from all these people? Based on their expectations of me? Based on our common values? Too hard.
People can’t really appreciate me
People don’t know me. Even my close family can see and know parts of me, perhaps big parts, but not 100%. Even I don’t know myself 100%. What’s the point trying to impress someone who don’t even know who I’m.
People will quickly forget
We’re always interested in our own achievements. Many of us don’t genuinely care about others. Those of us who genuinely care, will still quickly forget about others’ achievements, because we’re so preoccupied with our own problems.
People are generally ungrateful
Chances are that someone, even in my close family, will turn around and say I've disappointed them or I haven't lived up to their expectations. And this is Ok. People change and their expectations change, too. It's a big ask to follow constantly someone's expectations. So I don't even try any more.
People may become jealous
Some won’t, but some will. Intentionally causing jealousy is like stirring a can with snakes. Some will bite you. The problem is some may bite later when you least expect it.
I’ll betray myself
Once I start impressing others, I’ll inevitably get lost in their lives, perspectives, values and expectations. I’ll be so busy trying to understand how I can impress others that I won’t have the time to understand who I am and what I want in life.