Learning the hard way

Learning from other people’s mistakes would be nice, wouldn’t it? But how many of us can really do that?


Making mistakes always makes us feel uncomfortable. Significant mistakes which can turn our lives around for the worse make us feel more than just uncomfortable. They make us feel desperate, challenge our self-confidence and make us question our beliefs.


So why are negative emotions good for us? Well, because emotions are all about experiences of life, and negative emotions help us grow.




Hard lessons bring negative emotions. Why is this good for us?


Hard lessons bring us strong negative emotions, but we need these to grow. Can we really learn to feel sadness, happiness, despair, loneliness, joy, trust, love just by watching other people experiencing these feelings? If we can’t experience these feelings in life, then we don’t grow, do we?


Comparison helps us appreciate the positives


How do we know what true joy feels like if we never experienced sadness? How do we learn to appreciate love if we never experienced despair? How do we know what respect means if we never felt disrespected?


We grow when we experience emotions, mainly negative ones


Experiencing feelings and emotions is part of our growth and development. That’s how we know what we want to keep to become better, kinder and stronger, and what we need to let go. That’s how we know what’s wrong in our mindset, because emotions are indicators of our thoughts. For example, too much ongoing sadness in our life is a good indication of negative repetitive thought patterns.


Empathy is born from negative experiences


Someone who has always been smart, strong, confident and privileged, and never ever experienced any negative emotions, disrespect, sadness, betrayal, hate and so on, will hardly feel empathy towards the not-so-lucky people. Negative experiences give us another perspective on life and help relate to other people. The more we have experienced the better we can relate to others.


Intelligent individuals learn from every thing and every one; average people, from their experiences. The stupid already have all the answers. ― Socrates