How many times have we been told that we should be able to control ourselves, control our emotions and actions? We can't succeed in life if we don't exercise self-control. We can't build good relationships if we don't control ourselves. We can't have successful careers. We can't do this. We can't do that. It's all about self-control.
And it seems reasonable, because indeed - who'd like to deal with a person who can't control their impulses, emotions and actions? Surely we'd all love to deal with people who are balanced, calm, positive and listening. We try very hard to control ourselves, so that we can come across as balanced and positive. We try hard to pretend that we're balanced and positive, while on the inside we're often full of insecurities, limiting beliefs and fears.
But control has nothing to do with resolving, and everything to do with suppressing. Suppressing our negative thoughts, suppressing our unbalanced emotions and impulses.
So what happens if we keep suppressing our unbalanced emotions and impulses instead of resolving them?
1. Loss of control
Suppressed emotions tend to find a way out and it always looks ugly - uncontrolled anger, unstopping pessimism or unmanageable depression.
2. Our energy levels fall down dramatically
At all levels - physical, mental and emotional. We lack motivation. We lose purpose in life.
3. Problems with physical health
Our physical health gets worse because no one can live under prolonged stress and remain healthy and optimistic. We don't have the energy to look after ourselves.
4. We become more selfish
At least, we don't become less selfish. People with limited energy and troubled mindsets have very little mental and emotional capacity to care for others, or even think of other people.
5. We go into a downward negative spiral
Suppressed emotions and energy levels tend to get worse over time. Our perspectives on life become more limited. We become more bitter about life. The deeper down we go, the harder is to raise our heads and see the light above us. We start to forget what it was like to be positive and balanced.
To sum it up, I don't think controlling and suppressing emotions and impulses is a healthy practice. What we need to do instead is acknowledge them and address them. Resolve them. It won't happen overnight and in the meantime we can keep doing our best to behave as balanced and positive individuals. But if we don't start resolving our inner self-limiting beliefs, our true unresolved selves will show up sooner or later.